We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
