you guys were way drunker than both of me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
