I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
