i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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