it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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