By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
