so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
