the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
