Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
