Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
