then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
