I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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