Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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