u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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