you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
