Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
they need to just BURY HIM!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
