I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
