I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
