Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
