Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Vodka?
Forever.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
