he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
