Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
