all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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