My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
