I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
