in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
