i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
