he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
