no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
