Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
