I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
