That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
