I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I looked at my own cervix.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
