I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
