That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
