first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
