But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
