Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
