I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
