Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I forget how to act sober
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
