I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
