You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
God I need to hump something, right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
