just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I see more hoeing in ur future
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