I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
