Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
