Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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