Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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