I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So squirting runs in the family.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
