when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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