i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
