You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Michael Bay diarrhea
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
my poor anus
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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