Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
