I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
