This house was built for laser tag.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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