yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
