party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
